Depression

Depression is recognised as an illness, it is. It is not the same as feeling a bit down, which may last a few hours or a few days and is a normal reaction to a situation where you feel disappointed or loss or you experience or witness something upsetting. You can also feel a bit down if you are tired, not getting enough sleep or having been eating poorly or drinking too much alcohol.

Depressive illness is not the same as feeling a bit upset because of something that has just happened. It is different but similar to grief. You can become depressed after the death of a loved one but more commonly you experience a natural temporary loss of hope which is grief.

There are many resources including: leaflets, books, websites, you-tube videos and TV programmes about depression and I encourage you to explore and use those resources. This is because depression is a complex illness that cannot be simplified. Here though are a few important things you need to know.

Depression can sneak up on you or a loved one. Often the person who is experiencing depression does not realise they are depressed, it is more common for a partner, friend or carer to become aware that they are struggling before they are aware. Why?

Because depression alters the way you see the world and the way you see yourself. These changes are often gradual and you tend to believe this is how life really is. This is why in very extreme situations a caring, loving parent may sometimes kill themselves. In their normal state of mind they would never abandon their children. When depressed they come to believe they have nothing to offer. Or they lose the ability to empathise with others so they are really unaware of how their death will leave others feeling.

Suicide is devastating to others.

If you are having any thoughts of suicide please tell someone you trust. Someone you trust not to judge you or to over react. Do see your G.P.

Not everyone who suffers with depression will feel suicidal. However, depression will make you doubt yourself. It will probably increase your anxiety. You will probably be less decisive. You may become very obsessional and compulsive in your behaviour. But crucially it is a difficult disorder to recognise in your self.

Depression is hard to recognise in yourself. If you make up sneezing and coughing you know you have a cold. If you have a panic attack you know you are anxious. But if you doubt yourself, you become dithery, you are not wanting to go out so much, you feel others are judging you, you may not realise you are thinking this because you are suffering with depression.

The first step then is to recognise it. Here are some must dos

Do talk to others

Do see your Doctor (even if you are a Doctor!)

Do make yourself EAT and DRINK a reasonable diet (if you have lost your appetite try and have easy to eat and drink things readily available, e.g. milk, nuts, dried fruits)

Do be KIND to yourself

And some DON’Ts

alcohol – it is a depressant, don’t drink and especially don’t drink alone or to excess

Don’t blame yourself – it is no more your fault you are depressed than if you have a cold.

Don’t keep your thoughts and feelings bottled up – see your G.P. Talk to anyone you can trust, if your illness makes you question if you can trust anyone phone a help-line to start with, the Samaritans are always available.

Don’t avoid family and friends –even of you want to

Don’t criticise yourself

Don’t try and manage it alone ! isolation is depression’s friend it makes you feel as if no-one wants you – they DO

Do not minimise your symptoms.

Depression can be mild, moderate or severe. It can come on its own or with other mental illnesses. It can be bipolar. It can arise for many different reasons, sometimes in reaction to life events, sometimes as the result of a number of stressors, and sometimes due to chemical changes within the body. It is a bit chicken and egg: Sleep, appetites, energy levels are all affected which in turn undermines confidence, can increase anxiety and lower the mood. It soon becomes a vicious circle. BUT There is good news.

It is treatable. Very treatable. Sometimes anti-depressant medication is very helpful and psychological therapies, particularly cognitive-behaviour therapy and more recently mindfulness based cognitive therapy have proved their worth in alleviating the symptoms and aiding recovery. However, it does take time and whilst some people may recover relatively quickly for others it can take a long while and be a bumpy road – don’t give up.

The nature of depression can make people feel ashamed, worthless and to blame for how they feel. Frequently feelings of hopelessness grow and suicidal feelings emerge. This is depressive illness, it is not you, it is not how the world really is. It is a distortion. It is a bit like putting on very dark glasses on a sunny day and being convinced that it is a dull day. Moreover, believing the sun will never shine again. Treating depression is like gradually removing that dark filter and restoring hope.